I heard a quote once that wasn’t only intriguing but rooted in truth. It said that “Holding a grudge is allowing someone to live rent free in your head.” That is so true. You are giving people room in your life that don’t belong there when you hold grudges. Cut people loose from your life when they don’t belong there. Forgive them and move on. Give the issue to Jesus and give the offender an eviction notice!
I know people who love to hold grudges. It amazes me. And when you call them out on it they get offended. They don’t realize the spiritual harm that they do to themselves. It’s such a dangerous thing. Holding grudges makes you sick spiritually, and even physically through stress. I’ve heard it said that un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It doesn’t make sense. You’re living in bondage and that person is free. Life hasn’t stopped for them because you hate them. So why live with a heart full of anger and bitterness.
None of us deserves forgiveness
Un-forgiveness separates us from God. We block our own blessings. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to allow un-forgiveness to keep me from God. Forgiveness is not a choice. It’s a command from God. You say the other person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. And you do? None of us deserves forgiveness for anything that we do wrong. But God has forgiven us of so much. Jesus died so that we can have eternal life and forgiveness of all of our sins if we would only humble ourselves, come to Him, and ask. Our sins put Jesus on the cross. But He took the suffering to save us. Who are we then that we can’t forgive those that have wronged us after the way we’ve sinned and continue to sin against God Himself?
You don’t have to become best friends with the person that has hurt you. Trust has been broken. And it can’t always be gotten back. You don’t have to hang out together, hold hands and sing “Kumbaya.” You just need to release them to God and release the hurt and move forward. The road may well be hard. But it’s necessary if you want to heal from your hurts and be free. There is nothing to be gained by carrying old wounds in one’s heart and chips on ones shoulders.
Un-forgiveness robs you
Un-forgiveness creates misery. You may not think you are miserable. (And I can almost assure you that others around you will surely disagree with your self-assessment depending on the depth of it.) But you can’t have a heart full of anger, bitterness, spite and all the other things that come with un-forgiveness and have peace and joy. If you want to have life and have it more abundantly, and experience the joy and peace God has for you, you have to let go of the weeds Satan has sown into your heart and life. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. How much more of your life are you going to allow him to take?
If you are dealing with un-forgiveness stemming from a trauma like abuse of any kind, rape, injury whatever it may be, you may need to have a professional help you through your pain and find forgiveness. Whatever the trauma is, whether it is big or small, professional help can be helpful in finding wholeness. Getting help doesn’t make you weak. We all need help with something sometimes. Just be sure to find a good Christian counselor. The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to start looking. You can also check to find out if your church offers counseling services as well.
Jesus has commanded us to love all people, including our enemies. No one is exempt. The Bible says (and I’m paraphrasing) that if we say that we love God, but hate our brother we are liars. Because how can we love God whom we have never seen, but hate those that we have seen? (1 John 4:20-21 KJV) We are also told that whomever hates another is a murderer. And murderers will never be with Jesus. (1 John 3:15 KJV)
It’s time to get free
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 KJV
Jesus has told us that we would not be forgiven is we did not forgive others. That’s very serious. Will you allow your grudge to keep you from Jesus? I hope that you love the Lord and your soul more than that. Do you love Jesus enough to lay your un-forgiveness down and allow Him to heal you? Do you love yourself enough? Will you allow your un-forgiveness to separate you from God forever? I hope not.
Free yourself from the trap of un-forgiveness and pain. You can’t heal and move forward unless you let go and forgive. Don’t allow anyone or anything to keep you from God’s best for you. Let go and let God. When you finally release that burden to Him healing will come. Don’t you want that? It’s time to let your un-forgiveness go and be free. I’m praying for you!
How has God set you free? What has He set you free from and how has your life changed once you were healed and set free from your burdens and pain? Share your testimony of how has set you free and help others to find freedom as well in the comments below.
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Haneefah Turner © Copyright 2012. All Rights Reserved.
